Does it ever feel like you have more unrest in your life than others?
As if others simply don’t have the same disruptions in life that you do?
I’ve felt that way too, and that’s why I’m excited to share this guest blog post written by Kelly Balarie, author of Rest Now: 7 Ways to Say No, Set Boundaries, and Seize Joy.
Recently, I met someone going through a hard time. God clearly put it upon my heart to set down my work and to pray with her. On the call, I listened to her heart. I allowed her to talk. The minutes ticked by, but I knew the invitation from God was for me to be present in her pain. This calling to love was clear.
At the end of the call she asked, “Kelly, can we be friends? I want to call you with my concerns and you can help me.”
I understood her heart; God had moved on the call. However, I also knew, I could not be her all-in-all.
To be honest with myself is to say:
1. I do not have the space for a new best friend at this time.
2. I do not have the bandwidth with my family, with ministry and with all God has called me to do — to venture into this woman’s every problem.
3. To love her this way, means I’d probably have scraps left-over to love my family in other ways.
I told her, “I am sorry. I cannot have regular calls with you.”
I could feel her disappointment. Yet, she said, “I understand.”
After the call was done, the feelings of being “a bad Christian” washed over me. Was I supposed to say yes, God? Am I selfish? Am I being self-centered?
No. To reserve God’s love — to the person He is calling you to love — is to persevere in love.
Otherwise, I know how it goes… I’ll act passive-aggressive when all is said and done. I’ll complain about who I had to love. I’ll get upset at myself later for not saying no.
The burden to love is not always real love. Yet, as we are wise about: who we love, when we love and how God is calling us to move out in love — we will live-out true love.
“If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.” (1 Cor. 13:2)
Without real love, our acts mean nothing. We are left with nothing.
Are you truly loving? Or, are you striving and acting like you are loving? The beginning of true love starts with self-examination.